This is a big admission.  I have never read Harry Potter.  And I have survived to tell the tale.

I have no specific reason for not reading Harry Potter except perhaps a slightly perverse philosophy based, loosely on the famous Groucho Marx quote that “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member”.  And I think that is the problem: at one point, so many people were reading Harry Potter that it felt rather sheep-like to follow in their wake.  My contemptible individualism demanded a rejection.

Perhaps I have a problem with success?  Others people’s success that is; I wouldn’t know about my own.  Phrases like ‘Too big for your boots’ and ‘Don’t get too full of yourself’ are hard-wired into the British education consciousness from a young age.  Traditionally, there has always been a national characteristic to knock achievement rather than to celebrate it.  Some aspect of my non-reading of Harry Potter might be explained in this way.

I realise that plenty of other people have – vociferously – cited their own reasons for not reading Harry Potter.  These reasons vary from fundamental Christian beliefs adverse to the wizardry in the books to, more recently, people disagreeing with J. K. Rowling’s comments on gender.  I am not vociferous when it comes to Harry Potter.  I don’t fall into either of these categories.

As with my non-reading of Agatha Christie, I am quite sure that if I started one of the Harry Potter books I would actually enjoy it.  However, my non-reading of Harry Potter does not mean that I am culturally unaware of Harry Potter – given the ubiquitous nature of the Potterverse, it would be difficult to be otherwise – I know what Quidditch is as well as the next man.  There is a form of osmosis in operation where Harry Potter is concerned; to some extent, I feel that I have no need to read Harry Potter precisely because so many of my fellow compatriots have already read it; like a vaccine, I am protected from cultural ignorance by the herd immunity of the wider community.

Of course, there is still time to read Harry Potter.  Once I have analysed all my prejudices towards it, and come to terms with all the psychological implications, I could always pop along to my local bookshop and pick up a copy.  But will I?  Somehow, I don’t think so.  On that Reading List to the Grave I still have so many ‘must-reads’ that I fear that Harry Potter will remain forever Nox.

© Fergus Longfellow

Fergus Longfellow attempts to cast a spell on you.