Oh, it’s beginning to turn a bit nippy outside.  The mercury is dropping; the temperature is plummeting.  I, for one, am starting to plunder the depths of my winter wardrobe: thick overcoat; woolly hat; scarf; gloves.  Most people seem to be doing the same. 

However, there is one kind of person who appears to be impervious to the cold.  And there is one thing that all of these same people have in common.  They all have tattoos on their legs.

These people are more recognisable in the winter than in the summer.  In the summer, they tend to blend in with the everyday herd; just another person wearing lightweight clothing and short trousers, exposing a lot of bare flesh.  In the winter, it is different.  Then, they are the only person still wearing lightweight clothing and short trousers, exposing a lot of bare flesh.

How do they do it?  How can they stand it?  When the temperature is practically sub-zero, to be venturing outdoors in such flimsy attire?

I have a theory.  It is all about the tattoo.  Cause and effect.

What if the tattoo itself brings magical heat-bestowing properties, such that it renders the adorned-one protected from the cold?  Like some kind of inked Hestia, evoking the warmth and comfort of a welcoming fireplace, or the Ready Brek Kid encircled by a warming orange glow as though he has just emerged from the core of a nuclear reactor.  I hold my hands up, I may be wide of the mark with my idea but, like a starting point for all good science, it is a theory, which would explain the observed facts, such as they are.

Otherwise, what’s the alternative?  I can think of only one thing.  Vanity.  A cussed dogmatism to defy the cold simply to display tattoos, which would otherwise not be seen.  Surely not?

© Simon Turner-Tree

Simon Turner-Tree contemplates a full body tattoo to counteract the energy crisis.