My boss is always sending me hearts.  I don’t have a problem with it.  We are both modern, urban, office metrosexuals.  I know that his heart is nothing more than an expression of goodwill, recognising a good job done.  However, Microsoft’s ‘heart’ response emoji is contentious.  It has the possibility of being misconstrued.  I use it with caution.  No one receives my heart without a pre-agreed notice of consent from both parties.  I would like to be more carefree and expressive, but I know that for every 99 hearts received in the innocent spirit they are sent, one will land me facing a disciplinary.

Instead, when I am in the office and wishing to express a pleasurable response in emoji form, I use the ‘thumbs-up’ symbol.  Simple; straightforward; immune from misinterpretation.

However, what none of my colleagues know is that I have privately weaponised Outlook’s ‘thumbs-up’ response emoji.  While 99 thumbs-up I send are meant to express sincere thanks and best wishes, there will be an occasional one sent as an ironic response to a persistent online irritant, which I alone know means ‘sit on that and swivel’.

© Simon Turner-Tree

Simon Turner-Tree shares another private joke with himself.