I love that feeling when I am setting off on a long train journey when, with my luggage safely stowed away, I can settle back in my seat, perhaps open a book, sometimes just look out of the window, and simply relax, knowing that there is nothing more to do until I reach my end destination.  There is the train, slowly pulling out of the station, beginning to build up speed, entirely someone else’s responsibility for the duration of the journey.  Peace.

Except…

Me being settled in my seat seems to be the signal for all my fellow passengers around me to start faffing.

There will be the late-comer: the person who clearly boarded the wrong compartment in the first place and, now, five minutes after the train has departed, has finally managed to track down where they are supposed to be sitting.  Usually, this person will be accompanied by an enormous piece of baggage, which they will bump-bump along the aisle, first all along the carriage in one direction, then back along it in the other direction, before finally spotting their seat number, the vacant one just in front of me by the window, causing the person sitting by the aisle to have to move to let them by.

Next there will be the luggage-reorganiser: this person realises, ten minutes into the train-ride, that the most vital item they require for their own personal enjoyment of the journey is packed at the very bottom of their holdall, which they have already stashed away on the overhead storage rack.  For the next five minutes, they will be standing in the aisle, noisily rummaging through an endless array of possessions, until the prize item is finally gained.

Last there is the compulsive-eater: for this person, the train journey represents nothing more than a smorgasbord of snacks, all of which need to be rustled and crunched; bustled and scrunched. 

Everyone, please.  Just sit still; be quiet; stop faffing.

Deep breath.  Relax. Let the train take the strain.

© Simon Turner-Tree

Simon Turner-Tree could just as easily have included this blog in his series: The Little Irritations of Life.