Ah, Ricky Gervais.  Love him or hate him––and I won’t reveal my own personal opinion––but he can only be admired for his canine teeth.  But he would appear to be something of a dying breed.

What is happening to canine teeth?  We humans all have them.  Even the most zealous vegan cannot hide the meat-gripping fangs in their mouth.  There they are, long and prominently vampiric, nestled between the lateral incisor and the first pre-molar.

Except… they seem to be disappearing.

In a modern world of dental implants and veneers, the canine––or cuspid–– seems to have been orthodontised out of existence.  The typical celebrity smile now reveals a Fenland row of similarly-level teeth, rather than the genetically more useful Crinkle Crags.

Fashions change so fast.  It seems like only yesterday that Twilight and Robert Pattinson were all the vogue, and vampires were the coolest creatures on the planet.

But, where it used to need a wooden stake or a clove of garlic to defeat a vampire, now it just requires an hour or so in the dentist’s chair.

Stephanie Snifter

Stephanie Snifter would reveal a perfect white smile, if she ever smiled.