Some Little Irritations of Life are frankly a misnomer. Some Little Irritations of Life are actually Great Big Irritations of Life and, when it comes to ranking irritations, they don’t come much bigger than trying to find the end of the Sellotape roll.
For some this is a uniquely festive irritation; for me, it is a fulltime sport. I am a habitual user of Sellotape, and so the irritation is a constant one. And the irritation is made worse because I have a system.
I am an Endover. Whenever I finish using the Sellotape, I fold over a small section (approx. 5mm) so that the end will be easy to find the next time I come to use it. Except…
Except, whenever I next come to use the Sellotape, my neat solution has been foiled; sabotaged; usurped, leaving me uselessly scrabbling with blunt fingernails along an apparently seamless surface, attempting to identify the vital join.
The problem. I am a solitary Endover in a household of Free Radicals.
Charlotte Reed suggests that trying to find the end of the Sellotape is a wonderful opportunity to deepen your inner calm. She is wrong. It is an opportunity to rail against all the injustices of the world: poverty; famine; a Trump administration in the White House; London Northwestern’s new timetables.
Be under no illusion, these are the unfestive sentiments, which have accompanied the wrapping up of every one of your yuletide presents.
© Simon Turner-Tree
Simon Turner-Tree is never happier than when he’s got his Endover.