How to Build a Nuclear Fallout Shelter in your Local Pub #4

I think that I could get used to it here.  Safe beneath my pub table there is time for some quiet contemplation.

I’ve stocked up my shelter with provisions––not forgetting the all-important tin-opener; I’ve genned up on the early warning signals––a rising and falling note for the attack signal; three loud whistles in quick succession to signify that there is danger of fallout; and a long steady note to sound the all-clear––and, perhaps most importantly, I have arranged for a pipe and faucet so that I can pump beer directly from the bar below into my refugee, so that I don’t need to unnecessarily expose myself to danger every time that I require a top-up.  I’m about as prepared as it is possible to be.

Protect and Survive suggests staying tuned to the radio to keep abreast of emergency announcements.

I have just heard that North Korea has launched a second ICBM across Japan.  I have just heard that Trump has made a combative speech at the United Nations.

I wonder how it is possible that the world has reached such a parlous state where it is once again threatened by the shadow of nuclear destruction.  Can we have learned so little from the past?  Can we be so obsessed by power not to see the potential consequence of our actions?  Surely humankind cannot be so stupid?  Surely it is not too late for common sense to prevail and draw us back from the brink?

There are noises from below; someone has entered the pub; I remain quiet; overhear the barman in conversation with an American customer:

“The US, it’s a business not a country.”

“You’re right, man.  It’s like Kardashians in the White House.”


“It’s all one big reality show.”

“Oh, yer.  You had a president who was an actor, right?”

“Did we?”

“Yer.  What was his name?  Carter?”

“Jimmy Carter?”

“That’s right.  He was an actor.  I want to be an actor. 


“I’m 27.  I need to be famous quick.  Not famous, just known.  When I am known, then I’ll have influence.  That’s what I want.  Influence.”

“Yer.  Influence.  Right.  Then what’ll you do?”

“I don’t know.”

Safe under my table, I realise that we are all doomed.  Not today, not tomorrow, but one day.

© Beery Sue


See how Beery Sue started her project in How to Build a Nuclear Fallout Shelter in your Local Pub #1.



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