After last season’s surprise triumph, this year I am not doing very well in Fantasy Premier League.  I took risks with my captaincy rather than back the certainty of Mo Salah, and I chopped and changed my selection when I should have kept faith with a steady team.  Let’s be optimistic: I’m not dead and buried in my league, and there Is still almost half a season still to play but, if I am to retain my workplace FPL trophy this year, it is going to require the kind of comeback, which would make last season’s turnaround seem like a mere insouciance.

So, I’ve got a new strategy.  I call it my Win-Win Solution.  It sounds like I must have hit upon the perfect stratagem for success.  So, why does it make me feel not very good about myself?

Let me explain.

As well as my FPL team not doing very well this season, the real-life team that I support are not doing very well either.  In fact, they are doing awfully.  Terrible.  Absolute pants.  Despite my real-life team’s habitual non-performance, normally some degree of residual footballing honour means that I include some of their players in my FPL squad or, at least, don’t include players who are contesting against them.  Until now.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Now I am stuffing my FPL team full of players who are facing my real-life favourite team.  A win-win surely?  If my real-life team play well and win then I am pleased; if my real-life team play dreadfully and lose then it is likely that my FPL team will benefit.  I win either way.  Great, eh?  Except…

Why do I feel rather wretched?  A little bit sordid.  Not very good about myself.  It’s like I’ve just been on a diet and then suddenly eaten a double chocolate brownie with extra chocolate and extra brownie.  You might think that you are going to enjoy it but, even as you are stuffing in those extra great dollops of chocolate, there is part of you rebelling; telling you how wrong this is; trying to make you stop.

Win at any cost?  It’s just not worth it.  Sometimes you just have to accept defeat and feel the better for it.

© Donnie Blake

Donnie Blake tries to accept defeat gracefully.

Donnie Blake is the author of the World Cup Detective series of novels.