I am not renowned for my pastry.  Renowned for plenty of other things, but not my pastry.  If I were a contestant on The Great British Bake Off, I would get top marks for innuendo, but be chucked off the first week for my saggy bottom, flabby baps, big buns, and for fingering someone else’s dough balls.

However, I don’t let my lack of expertise stop me.  Mainly because I like nothing more in the world than a good, old fashioned pie.  As a post-pub supper, there is nothing like a thick slab of cold pie to soak up a belly of excess alcohol.

A word of advice: don’t start your baking after you have returned from the pub.  This is definitely a recipe to prepare earlier, and eat later.

For my pie de jour, I am returning to that culinary staple: the chicken and mushroom.  Despite the title of my dish––Fifty Shades of Grey––having recently acquired erotic overtones, any would-be Anastasia Steeles or Christian Greys are in for a disappointment.  My title is purely an unromantic, honest description of the appearance of the finished dish.

When it comes to quantities of ingredients, I tend to be ‘freestyle’, so there is little point quoting grams of this, or cups of that.  Instead, I offer a visual step-by-step guide, which can only serve to encourage readers with the belief: “I can do better than that.”

Ta-da!  Fifty Shades of Grey on a plate is completed by a side helping of boiled potatoes, steamed cabbage and mashed parsnips.

And that just leaves the other half to enjoy cloying and congealed when I return from the offie later.

© Beery Sue

Beery Sue has buns of steel.