Every age needs its heroes. In the words of Bonnie Tyler, ‘where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?’
In the time of Chivalry, it would have been a silver-clad knight who would have stepped forward to accept the challenge of a perilous adventure in distant lands. In the age of Autocorrect, we just need someone who can turn off non-concussive taps.
Whenever I am in the company washroom, there is invariably a tap left running. Not just running: gushing. Not the gentle background sound of a trickling brook across moss-covered pebbles; this is the full-on roar of a major, angry waterfall in full spate.
It would be nice to blame some unthinking, lazy waster for leaving the tap on––there are plenty of my colleagues who would fit the description without recourse to the imagination––but the fact is, the problem is often not the result of a human failing, but a mechanical one.
Some non-concussive taps simply do not turn off. Press, push, pull, pound: there will be one obstinate tap in every washroom, which has gone rogue, and will not desist from delivering its flow, no matter how determined are the attempts to prevent it.
Step up that non-concussive tap hero.
The hero who can turn off non-concussive taps. For some it is ‘a knack’; for others, it is using pure brute force; for others, it is a matter of sheer, dogged, determination.
Nominate these non-concussive tap heroes. Let the world know that they are still in safe hands.
© Simon Turner-Tree
Simon Turner-Tree salutes his modern heroes.
Read about Simon’s previous irritation with non-concussive taps.